You know, I'm going to be honest here, friends. I don't usually integrate myself into the politics of the community of Second Life. I am determined, for the most part to remain neutral and diplomatic about most every topic that makes it's way to my doorstep: Not because I feel my opinion is invalid, or because I feel it lacks weight, but because my opinions concerning things/issues/people not directly related to my Second Life experience are my own, and not for public consumption. If I feel something is remarkable, I say it. If I think someone has a beautiful avatar, I say it. If I think otherwise, I keep it to myself - why? What purpose does it serve to hurt someone's feelings? To belittle another individual enjoying their *own* SL experience? To humiliate or lynch someone whose tastes/opinions/interests/ideals differ than my own is not only needless, but it fosters a hostile, over-dramatic, painful environment. Regardless of that fact that our Avatars are hollow - they are operated by real people; People of every color of the rainbow, people with strengths, people with flaws, people deal with very real challenges in the real world just moments before logging in to "get away." These people, You, myself, every green speck on the grid represents a beautiful diversity that only an environment like Second Life can exemplify with such clarity and truth.
I am disturbed by the influx of negative blogs that have seemed to pop up recently. Blogs intended to tear people down, deconstruct targeted individuals, vilify them and negatively impact their Second Life experience... and this new media fad serves no purpose other than to rally a bunch of Hive minded people to draw the same conclusions and conduct themselves in the same remorseless, unsympathetic fashion.
It seems to have become more popular to be renown as "The great antagonist" than to be a champion of the efforts of our gridmates. It's easy to say "Phaylen, if you don't like these cold blogs, don't read them!" And I don't intend to, most certainly, but I'm most certain I can't be the only human being sitting behind my desk asking myself why... or how someone can ethically justify such behavior. Do we really discredit the power of the internet that much? Do we enjoy the tabloidesque aspect so much so that our own humility has taken a backseat and we enjoy seeing someone stoned to death with words? Is it the fact that we are sitting behind avatars, for the most part anonymously, that makes us believe we don't have to accept accountability for our actions and impact on another person?
Second Life was once about a collaborative experience. It was about celebrating your efforts and the efforts of those with whom you shared the experience with. It was about learning, about discovery, about being awed and certainly, sometimes about being offended, but more than anything about our shared world and what it represented in the greater scheme of things. We are in this together. Our world is not exclusive to us, but our experience is entirely and we control our own destiny in Second Life- why should that privilege be used to create negative, disruptive, hurtful blog posts about a person or people aside from the fact that one simply can. Anyone who has been the target of another individuals agenda understands that the implications and effects don't stop at the log-off screen. The consequences one pays for hanging off your sword are very real. In my own past I've been targeted - AND accused of targeting others in what has fortunately been my only experience with such things. It is so hard when something you love so very much, a world you depend on so much for enjoyment, for relief from day-to-day Real Life trials, becomes ugly and marred by the callous efforts of an influential blogger with Hive minded readers.
To that end, I say to those who don't feel compelled to write about only the things and people they despise, congratulations for remembering the world and it's contents consist of more than just you and yours. To those who communicate solely with the intention of imposing yourself and your negative reactions on another person to cause them strife, embarrassment or humiliation, I believe your talents are grossly misused. It is one thing to be constructive, it is another to exalt yourself as you deliberately and cunningly step on someone else just because you don't particularly enjoy their brand of participation or creation in Second life. Your mother wasn't incorrect when she said, "If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say it at all."
I'm not so naive that I think we should all run through a field of tulips holding hands. Part of what makes our world so enigmatic and thoroughly addictive is the fact that it is cohabited by hundreds of thousands of other DIFFERENT people. We may not subscribe to or approve of their choices/tastes/expressions/endeavors but that doesn't give any of us grounds to obliterate someone who possesses those differences. We certainly don't have to take to our blogs and celebrate them, we don't have to lie if asked what we think - but what purpose does it serve to step out of our way, out of our experience and into that of another just to wreak havoc on them? Is that what Second Life is about now? Rather than creating and customizing our own unique experience, has it become about affecting that of another persons in a public, hurtful way?
Look, this is my opinion. It's the last I'll share so publicly and indiscriminately because I don't think the weight of my words hold any more value than another writers, and I don't want to risk this blog post being perceived as an attack on any one person or persons out there in the metaverse. It's not. I respect what people choose to do with their efforts, and I'm quite liberal - but somewhere there has to be a line. Somewhere, at some point, someone had to ask why.
~Phaylen
Friday, December 19, 2008
It's bugging me.
Posted by Phaylen at 2:06 AM
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13 comments:
I feel much as you do.
There are forums that I don't belong to or rarely read as I feel there's enough negativity in the world today I don't need to voluntarily add to it in my life.
Sometimes I feel I'm a "Pollyanna" for this stance, but I've fought long and hard with folks I know RL to remove their poisonous influences that I'm loathe to allow strangers that privilege.
Criticism need not be negative, often I feel wholly negative commentary is the easiest. Constructive criticism elevates both the writer and the source/creator/subject, but takes a good deal more thought, caring and investment in the outcome.
Sadly, folks often aren't concerned with the aftermath of their actions as they affect others, merely in how it makes them feel. Your statements may not be the ones most often heard, nor the most widely read, but they should be, in my opinion.
Well said, Phaylen. I'm disturbed by those in our community who seem to thrive on belittling, cajoling and embarrassing their fellow residents simply for the entertainment value.
I will be the first to admit that I am not a saint. I can find myself munching popcorn and watching the drama unfold as easily as the next person, and yes, occasionally I may even toss in a comment.
But what purpose does it serve to, for example, see something you don't agree with in a shopping sim, TP in all of your friends and start a verbal sparring match with the object of your disdain, only to turn around and blog the experience as though it was the entertainment highlight of your week?
I don't want a world without conflict and difference of opinions, more often than not, that's when we learn the most about ourselves and others. I think its important, though, as Phaylen said, that we learn to respect other people's choices, even if we respectfully disagree, without resorting to character attacks, false accusations and drama for the sake of drama.
It's easy in our environment to be careless with our words. It is just the nature of the beast, and I have been at fault several time for not thinking before speaking. But truthfully, I think it requires more energy to assert deliberate negativity. People who write with the intention to harm are exceedingly talented, it takes as much to influence, provoke and affect thought. And I don't question anyone who wishes to be vocal about their thoughts and express them with honesty- I'd be the last person to suggest anyone inhibit themselves. But where is the productivity in word rage? How is it an asset in a community? I sort of operate by the standard that I won't say anything to anyone in our world that I wouldn't be confidant enough to say to stranger on the street in real life. We may roll our eyes in displeasure, disgust even, but we walk on by- we don't go into an attack stance and brutalize people with a differing opinion or belief.
Applauds!
thank you
xox Sasy xox
I agree 100%. When one forgets that behind the avatar sits a human, with feelings, emotions, different cirmcumstances, life issues and challenges, and takes that oportunity to tear another down... tis a said statement indeed on the content of ones character.
Thank you for saying that so well. I've often thought the same thing. I've never understood why some people have to belittle someone else in order to make themselves feel better. We should be lifting other people up, rather than tearing them down.
Bravo! Thank you so much for posting this. I feel very much the same as you but could never have put it into words so eloquently.
I hope many will read this and take a good, hard look within. The old saying of "Do unto others as you want done to you" (or however the phrase goes...but you get the gist of it) holds very true whether RL, SL, or forums and blogs. RL is hard enough as it is...is all the virtual drama, snarkiness, and just plain meanness really necessary? I think not. I hope more feel the same too.
Again, thank you for the thoughtful and intelligent post.
Once you understand exactly what is happening in these situations it ceases to have any power over you...
These people only win when they cause upset to others. I plan to completely ignore all situations that
really have no bearing on my life in general. Life is too short.
Great post. I don't normally post comments (and I deleted this one several times hehe :P) but I wanted to join the voices in support of your statements. In the end, we all choose our own path, whether it be the high road or the low one, and we also choose whether we will let others words define who we are. Sometimes easier said than done.
I'm a firm believer that the only opinions that matter are those that come from people I know love me and that I love in return, because I know they have my well being at the heart of what they say. I'm not saying ignore the critics, because a good critic gives helpful criticism, but definately ignore those that have tongues so sharp their own mouth bleeds when they talk.
Words are powerful and cannot be taken back once voiced (or written). I think it's important for everyone to remember the power of words, and to choose them with care. Especially the written word, as it has no body language or facial expression to help convey their meaning more accurately.
May you and yours be truly blessed through the holiday and the coming new year.
Wrote my response while eating the worst damn cakeroll ever made.
i like your post, thoughtfulness and hope you will post more often.
things that you said are things we need to be reminded of.
it's easy to do the other or fall into negativity, and with "drama" mean blogs it's often hard to find the nice fun stuff.
i don't really know what else to say but i enjoyed your post.
and yeah we are real ppl behind these avatars, and if we are creative we probably are a bit more sensitive, knowing that, one would think we'd make a more concerted effort to support our colleagues and "believe the best" in the midst of "hard cold accusations" but alas, most don't, those who may believe the best rarely speak up to defend someone being drug thru the SL mud and the beat goes on...
ty for making me think :)
xoxo,
caLLie
Bravo!
I also tend to stay away from the hot topic issues, and believe me I certainly do have an opinion, I just don't always feel the need to write about it on my blog. With friends, sure I'll talk about it, writing a post ... not often. I think bloggers tend to forget that it's not just a cozy fireside chat with friends, no matter how personal or small you think your blog is, as soon as you go on record with one of these scathing posts it changes things.
They say that with great power comes great responsibility. Our powers as bloggers may not be great, but words have power and we should ask ourselves how we want to use them and not just use them because we can.
There are so many posts I "could have" written about not just hot topics, but personal things. There are people I don't like, stories I could tell you about idiots that have burned me or made me mad. I see what some would call an ugly avatar and I shake my head at stupid people regularly, but I see no value in publicly shaming them. There are stores I refuse to shop at, people I refuse to be on the same Sim with, but what purpose would it serve to share that with my readers?
If people think that makes me weak, of that my posts are fluff, so be it. I have no need to make myself feel better at the expense of others, nor do I have any desire to change peoples opinions to match mine. The last thing I want is a world full of people exactly like me.
Great post, thank you.
A very thoughtful post, and I agree completely. In my blog, Second Effects, I try very hard never to be negative, as I believe most people usually try their best and bad stuff is mostly because people don't understand each other. Keep it positive!
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